Diary

2008-01-25 - Time to say goodbye

When I started working in July I was terrified the way local people were treating the children, especially the handicapped ones. One shock was the amount of handicapped children; about 60% of the children are very badly handicapped. I didn’t know how to take care of them or how to carry them. I was scared to hurt their weak legs or arms. I wasn’t sure how much they would understand about things around them. At first days all the healthy ones who could come to me got most of my attention.

Even though I was a little shocked about everything I just started to work and tried to do whatever I could. I changed the diapers, took them to the playroom, fed and washed them like the local nannies did. To handicapped children I couldn’t do much more than give my attention and touch them. I thought everybody can feel the touch.

All the children did my working much easier by giving charming smiles and laughs.

After a couple of months I started to really like Cambodia; all the nice little friends of mine at the orphanage, thousands of people at the streets, bad traffic and the weird smells and sounds everywhere.

The work at the orphanage was nicer and nicer after first shock and I got really close with the children. It was always so nice to go and see their smiles. I gave my attention to the same group of children and had about the same routine every day. It made the work easier and I think that way I got more out of it. I could really see how they were getting better and starting to learn different things. It took time to get the trust and closeness from the children but after that it was great. I think they gave so much to me too. All the love I gave them, they gave back even bigger.

The longer I was staying, the more attention I gave to the handicapped ones. I tried to make their days somehow easier and nicer by taking them outside or to the playroom. The healthy ones got the attention and all the nice things anyway, but the handicapped ones were always left alone. Even the rooms where most of the handicapped were staying gave familiar to me. I used to go there every day to say hello and take some of them outside to feel and see the sunshine on their face.

At the end of my working period, I heard that almost all the healthy children will get adopted to Italy. Their new families would come to pick them up at the end of January and take them to their new home country. Many of the children got books and pictures of their new families and homes. All those happy faces, nice pictures and words and children saying “mama” and “papa” made me cry, I was so happy for them. It made the leaving a little easier for me.

Anyway, it doesn’t take away the missing and I’m still worried about the handicapped children and how they are doing.

All together, the six months period of working was really good and I’m very happy that I did make my dream come true. This was one way to prove that anything is possible if you just want something enough.



Sanna Backman